september's end

September was certainly a nonstop month for us: we settled in, we left for a camping trip, we started homeschooling, we left again for Kim's wedding in Dallas, and Andy started his classes. It's funny, but just looking at that sentence, which seems short, I can't help but think of all of the work that encompasses each of those events.

Settling in: several trips to Ikea. Same for Target. Lots of boxes. Lots of trash. Foundational (meaning expensive) grocery shopping. Trying to find a store which sells Bob's Red Mill multigrain hot cereal. Same for barley malt extract.

Camping: another trip to Target. And a trip (or two) to REI. Intensive packing. Insane driving on skinny windy roads. Lots of laundry back at home.

Homeschooling: still trying to figure out curriculum and schedule. Adding Caroline into the mix. Michael thinks he is a second grader (he is going to Sunday School with a friend who is in second grade). Thinking about next year--homeschooling again or back to public school? And how to work that from CA with school choice in Fort Myers?

Kim's wedding: more packing. Navigating the Dallas roads (I now know to check my directions very carefully after going north on the Dallas Parkway when I should have actually been going south on the North Dallas Parkway). Late nights with grownup conversation (a fun novelty). Flying three hours with three children and no food (why have they stopped handing out peanuts on the plane???). More laundry.

Andy's classes: for me, the recognition that being a full time student is a lot more like a full time job than I'd expected. For him, many hours in the library, student center, bookstore, study room, or wherever else he can concentrate without losing his mind.

The end of September marks a sad anniversary for me as well, which seems more poignant this year with my aunt's passing. Last week was eight full years since my mother completed her own race. Although I am content (and I know she is filled with joy), I am still sad. I think part of the sadness comes from just having been at a family wedding. Mom and I so enjoyed our time together planning our wedding: it was kind of both our first time and our last time really spent together, having fun, planning, shopping, and talking. I didn't have much in the way of teenage spleen to vent on my mother, but for my own sake, I wish I had sought her out so much more in those years than I did. I find that I should have paid more attention to how to become a woman like her: confident, brilliant, loving, generous, faithful, patient, joyful. I know that she died with no regrets, and it is my job to live with none as well. I have none for her--and just have to let go of those I have on my own behalf.

grace and peace to you.